What’s there to roast? This collection is a perfect reflection of it’s owner; soulless and more money than sense. 14 watches and you can’t bring yourself to not do blackface on a dozen of them, which is probably an appropriate allegory for your personal beliefs. Sorry, I shouldn’t forget the cookie cutter Casios, which are almost as obvious a beard for your horology chops as your trophy wife is for your limp-dicked masculinity. I’m surprised you had the foresight to take the plastic and tags off of them, as someone with a collection like this would never miss an opportunity to wear their “understated” Rolex or AP rather than be seen with something a commoner could afford. The only thing here that surprises me at all is that you don’t have an “inconspicuous” black dial Patek Grand Complications hiding somewhere, so you can stunt on other boring, middle aged WASPs that think their gold Daytona is more expensive than anything you have, since it’s obvious this entire hobby for you is nothing more than one more way to desperately attempt to show other people that you’re worth something. I shudder to think of how ostentatious your wife’s jewelry collection is to have allowed you to accrue a small fortune in terrible watches. I’m guessing it’ll take quite the piece for her to finally let you get that Patek, more than the usual pearl necklaces your ADs have undoubtedly been giving her up to this point anyway.